Yesterday I spent the night at my mom's house because I haven't seen my brother in forever and it was way awkward. I didn't want to spend the night but my brother kept making me feel bad. Blah it was like a set up too. My uncle really doesn't want me here any more. When I came home this afternoon, everybody was like why are you here? It sucks to feel like you aren't welcome in your own home but even sucks more to know that the house you live in isn't going to be there forever.
I feel so empty yet full at the same time. Empty because of everything and opportunity I've lost throughout my life and because of the feeling that I'm not welcome. Full because of every opportunity I've taken and the blessings I've gotten. Being full is way better than being empty but the feeling of being empty somehow stays with me more than the feeling of being full.
It's weird how life works it way out of things but then into other things. If there's one thing I've learned from Sister Paul, is that LIFE IS NOT FAIR.... oh and also that people can't make you do anything because everything is your choice. That's why we're here. But ya as I was saying.... Life isn't fair so we have to deal with the obstacles in our lives no matter how painful they are. We can't go and complain about everything because then we are just wasting air doing it. Nothing good ever comes from complaining, I've learned from experience but I wish it would help. whatever....