Been a while again. Man I need to become better at this stuff. Well hopefully I will get better. Life sucks and then you die, but between all that there are some pretty magical things that happen along the ride. Many wonderful people to be meet and lots of fabulous places to go. This is my 4th semester at BYU-I and I love it... not Rexburg though haha I don't like Rexburg, but I've met lots of people.

Well it's been a good 18 months since I last posted something on my blog and I don't know if anyone is still reading along but here's what happened in these last months...
I finally got my license
I graduated high school
I finally got a job
I am now part of a loving family
I got accepted to both BYU and BYUI but decided to go to BYUI
I'm in college
I no longer have braces
My sister is married
I have some of the best friends I could ever hope for
and that's about it... I'll try to post more often and keep all who care updated...

Things I've realized.... Things that are so simple can be the most difficult..I've disappointed myself and probably my parental units but I doubt they're as disappointed as I am in myself and actions. I feel as I've stabbed my back and am left in a corner to die. I want so much for someone to come in and fix it for me but it ain't never gonna happen. Pretty much I feel like I have to fake my emotions. I have every right to feel what I want but it will always affect who's around me. That freakin is so dumb. I wish I could feel what I wanted to and not have to worry about what others think. I don't know who I am, are, was.... who I want to be... It's such a scary thought. I know what I want but I'm not willing to try and get there... Sometimes getting what you want isn't what you really want..

Hmmm haven't posted in a while.... Let's see whats new....
Went to court...
Staying for good
Got 6 As 2 Bs
Still going to counseling
Had mole day
Had a math party and still hate math haha
Became closer to some friends...
Going to conference this week...
that about sums it up...


Have a great day

Last weekend we went to Arizona. It was fun and I actually stayed up for most of the car ride home and didn't feel sick. We got home safe so that was good. Meagan and Brianna tried to extend our visit another day but it didn't happen. It was fun to watch though. This week we've had 2 A days in a row because we had a make up snow day. It was kind of pointless so we could've stayed in Arizona one more day but Bro Paul has a funny little thing called work that sustains our living haha so we couldn't really have stayed another day.
Don't you hate those days when reality hits you so hard you know you have to change the way your life is going to make that sharp pain go away. Today I experienced that in counseling and the first thing I thought was.. "Wow I suck really bad" but I don't suck, I just don't realize how bad I'm hurting myself with my thought. No matter how comforting I think they are. Well I guess what I'm trying to say is.... Don't let yourself get in the way of everything. What I mean is don't be so consumed in your ego because it just damages your relationships you have with everybody even if it doesn't seem like it.

Today is Wednesday and we found out who won elections.... I'm the senior class treasurer. Kinda cool, didn't think I would win haha. Kinda sad because people I wanted to win didn't win. Today is going to be a little bit busy. I have Laurel Secretary business to do plus homework which is kind of a lot for once. I should start doing my homework the day it's assigned and not put it off so then I won't have to worry about it later. Well..... Don't feel like saying my issues because they're still the same and nobody ever wants to hear me since all I do is complain or whatever. PEACE.

YAY!!! Today is Friday. Thank goodness. I didn't think my homework from counseling would be so hard, but it is way hard. I feel really bad. Pretty much about myself, which is something I'm not supposed to be feeling or whatever because it's totally against the reason I'm going to counseling. I'm pretty much going in a downward spiral at the moment. So I guess I'll leave you with my self-pity.